


Raw

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Raw (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Cannibalism, Gen, M/M, Oops, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Tags Contain Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:31:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Connor was excited, if slightly apprehensive for college. He was going to the same school his father had gone to, the same one his brother was at. When he goes through the same hazing ritual that every other kid goes through, he didn't expect it to really change him.He was wrong.~~~~Or : Raw, but with D:BH characters, with Connor as Justine and RK900 as Alexia.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write a D:BH story for a bit, and when I saw the Ex Machina story I was inspired to mix a movie in the same way. 
> 
> So, I was also going to recommend Raw but I don't know if I should lmao it's a 2016 french movie on Netflix but please, look at the rating and why it's rated that way if you wanna watch it. It's not for everyone - I don't even know if it's for most people? It's good though, if you like that sort of thing.
> 
> This first chapter is really just setting the stage too, sorry that it's boring as hell. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the story as I desperately try to finish at least one fic.

It was quiet out. 

The early morning roads were always empty, giving him the feeling of being empty himself. The sky would be tinted with hints of the previous night, as if it was dragging the day behind, making it slow and sluggish. 

The trees would shake usually, bursts of wind rocking them from side to side, snatching their leaves and whirling them away. It was violent in a way, the unnatural tearing and ripping.

His hair would always end up mussed from the wind, strands he worked so hard to make seem perfect then stuck up and wild. A predatory look, one that suited him more than the image he crafted so perfectly every day in front of his bathroom mirror. 

He trudged on. 

The trees only lined the road, planted meticulously with some vain attempts at harmony between either sides before the city had given up, allowing them to twist and bend to whatever shape they desired. 

Past the uniform lines was nothing but grass, hills and valleys that could be seen in virtually no other part of Detroit. The long road felt as if it had been plucked out of another place, another country, another time even and ungracefully heaped onto the landscape. 

His footsteps quickened. 

There was never any real traffic at such an early time, on such a bizarre and empty road, just the occasional car sputtering by - two on lucky days. 

He crouched low once he reached a good spot, one where he could hide in the tall grass until the time came to strike. 

He could see a car cruising down the road, far enough away that he could risk darting up to look at it. It was going over the speed limit, probably not expecting anyone to be keeping watch. 

He was, though. 

It drew closer now, unaware of what awaited its passengers. He quickly changed his positions, hands pressed firmly into the soft earth below him, a running position he found worked best. 

It came closer, at a speed that almost made him falter. The point of this was not for him to die - if that was the case, he would have been long dead, buried and cried over by only two people. No, this wasn't about his death, and if he ever felt like his life was in danger he would simply watch from the grass as the car continued, never knowing how close they had come to their own demise. 

The car was driving fast. He didn't want to die, not on the empty and lonely road where his body wouldn't be found for hours. 

But he was so _hungry._ It burned deep in his stomach, demanding to be satiated. 

He decided in the split second before it was almost too late to chance it, that anything was better than the pit inside of him. Besides, being hit with a car wasn't always fatal. And he was better than others. Better, stronger, more agile - superior in every way. 

The car sped up. 

He darted out fast, hesitating in front of the car for a split second before rolling. The car screeched as the driver noticed him, pulling hard on the steering wheel to avoid running him over. Not watching where the car was going. 

It hit the tree at the same moment that he collapsed on the road, heart pounding from adrenaline. 

Silence. No cries from the car, no cries from him. They were dead on impact then, hearts stopping as tons of force crushed their bodies, mangled them beyond belief. 

He closed his eyes and didn't get up for a moment, simply breathing. Taking in the sounds around him, the faint cry of the wind and the smell of smoke from the car. 

After his moment he got up and looked over at the car. The front was crushed completely, glass shattered and smoke billowing out. He had got them good. 

_Finally._ It had been too long. 

He walked over, opening the passenger side door. Two bodies laid slumped in different directions, blood pooling all over the interior. He got a touch closer, running a hand across the shoulder of one of them. They didn't react, instead falling more forward by the force of his push. 

He took one step back, breathing in deep. Satisfied with himself, he nodded as he surveyed the corpses once again. 

Breakfast. 

~~~~

Connor was hungry. 

He hadn't been in the car with his dad for that long, not long enough to be starving the way he was. Maybe it was the way the big Saint Bernard next to him kept panting and whining, begging for food himself. 

He always had felt an attachment to Sumo. Maybe their feeding schedules had synced up. Or maybe his nerves were shot, rubbed raw from the new reality he would be walking into. At least his brother would be there to guide him through his first year of college - if he decided he wanted to, that is. 

“Here we are, you big fucking baby.” Hank grumbled as they sidled into the parking lot of a restaurant. “We gotta make this shit quick Connor. Your brother should be waiting for us.” 

“I understand dad.” Connor responded. He didn't bother commenting on the curses or the latent aggression in Hanks voice. That was just the way he was, voice finding all the inflections that made him sound meaner than he was. But it came in handy with his job, at least. 

“I can't believe you're actually hungry,” Hank continued to grumble as they made their way in, windows to the car rolled down to let Sumo breathe. “I told you to eat breakfast, and what did you tell me, huh Connor?” 

“That I wasn't hungry.” It had been true at the time. 

“Exactly!” Hank lead him to a corner booth, not waiting to be seated. That was just the way it was with him, impatience mixing with stubbornness to breed his personality. “You better be glad I love you.” 

“Of course I’m glad. I love you too, dad.” Connor said. He knew his father meant it in a lighthearted manner, but it made Connor feel nice whenever Hank said he loved him. He hoped he also felt good when he said it back. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.” he mumbled, but smiled up at him. “Go get your food. God, look at this place, a fucking buffet bar? I thought I was getting you out of high school, not putting you right back.” 

Connor looked at Hank, eyebrows creased. What did that mean? He was going to college, not high school. 

He sighed once he realized that Connor didn't get it. “Hot lunch line kid, don't make me spell shit out for you. Now go,” Hank shooed him away, gesturing towards the buffet. “Mr. I’m-Not-Hungry.” 

Connor didn't respond, instead opting to follow his orders and make his way over to the line. There was no one in front of him or behind him, just one worker behind the aisle that separated them. He checked the buffet, biting his lip as he noticed the poor choices for vegetarian meals. After a moment he grabbed one of the white plates, hesitating for a moment before walking up to stand in front of her.

Interactions with strangers were hard for Connor, the nuances of certain topics and conversations never quite making the right connection for him. So instead, he got his interactions from three people - Hank, Sumo and his brother, when the older boy deemed him worthy enough. 

“Hello,” he began, smiling pleasantly at her. Or at least, what he hoped was pleasant. He had been told before that he looked more as if he was in pain instead of happy. “May I have some mashed potatoes, please?” 

The woman didn't respond, instead simply scooping up what he wanted and slapping it onto the plate. He flinched back at the sudden contact, the plate jolting closer to him. 

“No protein?” she asked Connor, watching from behind the counter. He shook his head no. 

“No thank you, I don't eat meat.” He smiled at her once more - now certain he looked as if he was in pain - before leaving to rejoin Hank at the booth. 

His dad didn't say anything when he sat down, instead rolling his eyes at the dial tone Connor could faintly hear coming from his phone. 

“Your brother.” Hank explained after a minute, ending the call after it rang for several more beats. “He isn't answering his fucking phone, so I guess we better just hope he shows up.” 

Connor nodded at the answer, intent on digging into the food in front of him. Hank checked the plate and then nodded back, closing his eyes as Connor began to eat. 

He was hungry, hungry enough that he wasn't chewing his food. As far as mashed potatoes went, it was an okay meal. Nothing that Connor would ever really be eating if the options hadn't been so dismal. God, he really should have at least eaten breakfast, then they wouldn't have had to stop so soo - 

He froze. 

There was something foreign in his mouth, something that was definitely not mashed potatoes. It was salty and round, tempting Connor to bite into it.

He didn't, instead making a gagging noise that made Hank open his eyes straight away. 

“What?” he demanded, watching as Connor struggled to spit whatever was in his mouth out. “What is it? Spit it out son!” 

He did finally, feeling disgusted when it fell onto his plate with a thump. Mashed potato dribbled out of his mouth, forcing Connor to wipe it off. 

“Shit.” Hank muttered when he inspected it. It looked like a meatball that had hidden under the potato. “Did you bite into it?” 

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” His eyes had taken on a steely hint that Connor rarely saw in person, one reserved for when he was ready to fight someone for an alleged wrongdoing. 

“I'm quite sure dad, look at it.” Connor gestured to the meatball, watching as his dad checked it over. No bite marks on it at all. 

“This shit really gets to me.” he growled, grabbing the plate and standing up from the booth. Connor sighed, hands reaching over to grab the plate from his father. 

“Dad, please don't. It's fine, see? I didn't eat it.” he pleaded but Hank snatched the plate away again, glaring down at him with enough righteous fury that he gave up immediately. 

“Seriously Connor? What if you had been fucking allergic? This isn't right.” he spat out, not at Connor but just in general. 

Connor sat back in the booth, staring down at his hands as Hank stormed off. He knew it was just in his father's nature to be extremely protective, but he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of anger. 

It was just a meatball. It wasn't going to kill him to eat it, even if he didn't mean to. 

“Yeah, hi. My son over there, the vegetarian?” He could hear his father starting, could hear the way his tone changed from casually aggressive to on the offensive. At least he wasn't swearing - Connor really disliked being kicked out of restaurants. 

“Well, he asked for just mashed potatoes, and what do you know? Apparently you're running a surprise magicians show too, because we found meat in it.” 

Connor closed his eyes as the conversation continued. 

Breathed in and out. 

It was going to be a long day. 

~~~~

The ride to the small town of Jericho wasn't long, but it was just long enough for Connor’s nerves to rise again. He clung to Sumo on the drive, burying his face in the massive dogs fur. 

It was going to be fine. His brother would meet them and lead him to the college, would talk confidently and treat him well, help him unpack and then maybe even stay the night. Hank would call at 9, make sure Connor was okay before going to bed. 

It was going to be fine, logically Connor knew this. But the closer they drew, the more he wished Hank could just turn the car around and take him home. He could get a job and wait a year before trying college again, help his dad out and spend time with Sumo. 

“Wow, it looks shabby.” Hank brought him out of his thoughts as they entered the town. He looked up, letting go and gently pushing Sumo out of the way to look out the window. 

It did look shabby. Big grey concrete buildings lined the streets, looking abandoned. The small buildings that were dotted around them looked like they were on the verge of falling apart. Connor could barely see the outline of a huge ship at the end of the town, a big hulking metal thing. It looked dangerous, as if it could crush Jericho if it fell over. 

“When I was here this was a fucking nice town,” Hank muttered as they continued to drive. “And when I brought your brother is wasn't nearly as shitty.” 

One building caught Connor’s eyes, a tall concrete one with glass balconies on every floor. It looked nice, at least nicer than those around it.

“Is that it?” he asked Hank, pointing towards the building. Sumo panted next to him, whining for attention so Connor went back to absently petting the huge dog. 

“Nah, that's the med facility. Hospital on the right, morgue on the left. You'll get to spend some time down there, looking at bodies.” 

“And look,” Hank said, nodding towards a small building next to it. “That's the grocery store.” 

“I feel as though I'm already lost.” 

“Don't worry, Conan will help you.” he reassured Connor, putting one hand back to pat his leg. 

It didn't reassure him. 

~~~~ 

They had pulled into a semi-empty parking lot after a bit more of Hank showing him around the city. Sumo whined to be let out, so Connor popped the door opening, stretching and letting the dog bound out of the car. 

“Let me try to call your brother again.” Hank said, looking around. Connor nodded, trying not to let the apprehensive feelings he had overwhelm what should have been an exciting day. 

Conan was supposed to meet them. He wasn't here. Had he decided Connor wasn't worth the trouble? 

Connor turned around as his dad began the call, going to the back of the car and opening it. He hadn't packed much, just one suitcase and one backpack. Conan had said that he would buy the rest for him cheap, but if he wasn't here then Connor was seriously out of luck. He had trusted him, like an idiot. 

“Connor, you have your phone on you?” Hank asked him once he had put the backpack on and wheeled the suitcase back over. Sumo was content to just lie on the pavement next to his owners, tail wagging and hitting Hank every time. 

He nodded, pulling it out of his pocket to show his dad. 

“Try and call your brother. Maybe he'll answer your fucking call.” Hank crossed his arms and stood in front of him, watching as Connor picked his brother's contact out of his phone and held it up to his ear. 

It rang once, twice, three times before unexpectedly dropping to voicemail. So Conan didn't want to talk to him, or even be here even though he promised. Great. 

“He won't answer.” Connor told his dad, shutting his phone off without leaving a voicemail. 

“Great, just fucking great. God, I told Jeffery I’d be back at four.” Hank snarled and uncrossed his arms, snapping his fingers to get Sumo back up. “Connor, I gotta go. I don't need another mark against me, you know that right?” 

“I know dad, don't worry about me. You told me where the admissions desk is, and if I get lost I have my phone.” Connor reassured him even as something squeezed in his stomach. He knew that his dad had a rowdy history at his precinct, but surely helping your son get to his dorm wouldn't count against him? 

“Listen Con,” Hank said as he helped Sumo get back in the backseat. The long forgotten nickname didn't soothe his nerves, only making him more agitated. He wished he could go back to when he was young, young enough that Conan would play with him and Sumo seemed gigantic and Hank was perfect in his eyes. 

“When you see your brother, because trust me, he _will_ show up, tell him he better start keeping better fucking promises. Tell him dad said that.” He slid into the front seat then, watching Connor as he wheeled his suitcase away from the car. 

“I will, if only taking out choice words.” Hank chuckled, eyes softened at his youngest before waving him over to the window. 

“So brainiac,” he said, gesturing Connor closer. “Show them what you're made of.” Connor leaned in and Hank pressed a kiss to his cheek, a gesture that did make him feel calmer. It would be okay. It was just a bad first day, that was all. 

“Okay, I'll see you. Remember to call me, yeah?” 

“I will.” 

“Say bye to Sumo.” 

Connor trailed over to the window for the backseat, reaching in and petting the dog. He laid down, held tilted up for Connor to be able to pet him better. 

“Goodbye Sumo, I'll see you when possible.” he said, and then the feeling was back in his chest. He didn't want to leave the dog, one who had been with him throughout his whole childhood. He didn't want his dad to leave, to free Connor into the world of true independence. It was scary, way too scary for it to happen right then and there. All he had was a backpack and a suitcase. 

The car started. Hank waved one more time to him and Connor waved back, stepping away from the car. Sumo barked, getting up to look at him. 

They began to drive away. Connor trailed a little bit farther away, turning back to watch the car slowly drive down the road they had came from. Once it was out of his sight, he began to walk towards the admissions office, ready to find his dorm and sleep the first night away. 

He breathed in, and out. 

Tipped his head back and looked up at the clouds, trying to let the sun burn away the tears that had begun to form at the edges of his eyes. 

It had been a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I struggled with a name for rk900 until the driving around part?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hazing ritual lets Connor meet new, and old friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love the party scene in Raw, I don't even know why. I think it's the song, it just gets me every time. 
> 
> Honestly all these characters are OOC especially RK900 but whatever you know.

He had found his dorm without any real trouble. The admissions desk had been kind, speaking quietly and reassuring Connor that everything was going to be okay. They had gotten him situated as fast as possible, getting the key to his dorm in his hand within minutes. 

One had mistaken him for Conan, at first. That was fine to Connor, it happened frequently. They looked alike, especially if you weren't looking up close. Same hair, reasonably the same build, same facial structure. They could never fool anyone into thinking they weren't related. 

Once Connor had gotten inside the dorm he realized his roomate hadn't even been there yet. It was bare, a blank canvas for him and whoever was assigned the same room to decorate for themselves. 

He was allowed to choose the room he wanted right? Since he was first. He chose the more secluded room, shutting the door behind him so if his roommate came in he would know that it was Connor's. 

He didn't bother to unpack much, instead opting to simply fit his sheets to the mattress and take out a thin blanket and pajamas. Conan had promised to get him a real blanket and pillows, but with him AWOL it was the best Connor could do. 

He changed, looked around the same and blank room again before collapsing onto the mattress. He was too tired to really focus on how he felt - which was terrible. He wanted Sumo to sleep with him. He wanted to hear the lull of the television from his dad getting home late. He wanted to hear cars amble past the house slowly. 

Connor didn't like how still and quiet the room was. But eventually his mind took over, demanding himself to sleep. 

So he did. 

~~~~

Connor woke up to shouting. It was faint, but loud enough for it to rouse him. He whimpered in confusion to himself, blinking as he forced himself up. Music was playing now, so loud and deep that it almost felt like it was shaking him. 

Under the door, light pooled in. The roommate, he was here and awake, even though it was so late. What was going on? Why was the shouting growing louder? Connor got up more, grounding his elbows into his mattress. 

The door to his room flew open.

“What's that shit music?” the man who had stormed into Connor's room demanded. He was holding something, a long green pole with a sharp spike at the end. It made Connor's heart jump, to look at it. Why was he holding that? 

“I don't know. Who are you?” he asked, holding his blanket to his chest. The shouting and music was louder now that the door was open, as if it was coming from the hall. 

“Your roommate. I got here late, now get up!” he shouted over the noise, gesturing towards the bed. Connor leaned over, turning on the lamp next to him. 

His roommate was in his pajamas too. He had dark hair and a face that felt vaguely threatening. Or maybe it was the spike he held that made Connor feel like that. 

“Are you in the police program?” Connor asked as he sank out of bed. He had specifically asked for someone who was going through the same experience as him, a tip that Conan had given him. Which he did, again, like an idiot. The boy in front of Connor did not look like he wanted to bond over their similar hardships though. 

“Yeah, and I know you are too. Now fucking act like it, and get up!” 

He held a hand out and Connor took it, allowing himself to be dragged up by his roommate. He was dragged out of the room, into the hallway. The shouting and music was loud enough for some words to made out. Something about getting out of bed. 

_Uh oh._

“Here, you take this. Looks like you'll need it with those arms.” The boy shoved the spike into his hands, before moving in front of him. 

“What's this? And what's going on?” Connor finally asked, even as his hands tightened around the spike. Contrary to his roommate's belief, he could defend himself. Had done it, many times. Usually from Conan. 

“Ski pole, and I have no _fucking_ clue.” 

The front door burst open. 

At least five people made their way in, looking a few years older than Connor or his roommate. They wore long white coats scribbled on with various color sharpie it looked like, and black balaclavas. 

Connor pressed himself up against the wall quickly, ski pole still held in his hand. The intruders screamed nonsense, messing up the whole dorm room. His roommate tried to fight back, landing several punches before being surrounded and held back. 

Something clicked in Connor's head. Something that Conan had told him about his own first year in college. 

They were being hazed. 

With that thought in mind Connor dropped the pole, simply watching as the intruders continued to ransack the room. They grabbed his roommate's mattress and threw it out the window, still screaming nonsense, before moving onto his room. 

“That's my shit!” His roommate shouted, still being held back. They didn't answer, just continued to ransack the room. 

Connor couldn't find it in himself to really care - he was just relieved that they weren't really being broken into. He watched as the intruders carried out his own mattress before heaving it out of the window too. 

One of the men grabbed him then, before letting go when he looked at his face. 

“Conan, the fuck are you doing he -” he broke off the sentence and grinned at Connor, recognition in his eyes. “Oh shit, you're not Conan. You're his brother, Connor!” 

Connor only nodded, eyes wide as the man grabbed him again, pulling him towards the other intruders. 

“It's Connor!” the man who grabbed him yelled, gesturing wildly to him. Connor stood there, allowing himself to be gawked at. His roommate fought against the man restraining him. 

“Little brother!” Another man bellowed, raising a hand in the air. “Connor! Connor! Connor!” they all chanted, even as both him and his roommate were dragged out of the room. 

Conan must have recounted tales of him then. Or he was wildly popular. Probably the latter, considering Conan. Everyone tended to love him. 

The men kept chanting his name even as they roughly shoved him and his roommate into the hall, into a long line of other kids, all his age. It was definitely a hazing ritual then. 

The music was louder and the shouting closer in the hallway, even as the line began to move. Connor looked around at the other people. They all looked like him, he imagined, tired and confused but not scared. They knew what this was, and they knew they had to take it. 

Apparently somebody didn't though.

“Hey, what do you think you're doing?” One of the man shouted, pointing behind Connor. He swung around to look at the offender, seeing only a boy halfway into a dorm room. Everyone else spun around too, thousands of eyes focused solely onto the kid. 

“Where are you going?” he demanded again, over the shouting and music. “Where?” 

“To bed, man.” the kid mumbled, now shuffling more inside. The man strode over, knocking him back. 

“Bed? Your bed is downstairs friend!” He waved around, forcing everyone to look at him. “Hey! This one wants out already!” 

Connor moved back, allowing the intruders to pass by him. The people around him did the same, his roommate, and a group of four - all friends it seemed. In fact, it was as if only he and his roommate were by themselves. 

“You got in to please your parents, right?” the leader demanded. The boy shook his head, looking bewildered. Connor would have felt bad for him, but he was more caught up in trying not to be trampled. 

“No, I just - I just thought it was over.” he stammered out.

“You'll know when it's over big guy,” the leader said, pushing the boy back into the line. “Now back into the fucking line.” 

“And now, where are we going?” he shouted at the line. Connor felt himself shrink back and into another kid before jerking away at the contact. The boy held out his hands up and smiled at him. “Where?” the leader repeated. 

“To freedom, fuckers!” he screamed, and began to gesture to the line. “Speed it up rookies!” 

The line began moving, slow at first but becoming faster after some prompting by the intruders. Connor shrank back again, hand brushing against the other boy's next to him. After a moment the other hand wrapped around his own, a calm reassuring squeeze to it. 

He looked up at the boy. He was attractive, with mismatched eyes. But more importantly, he looked kind. Connor was thankful for the silent encouragement he gave, enough to let him walk without fear. 

“Get your asses moving rookies! Everyone else is waiting for you downstairs! Move it, now!” 

The line sped up. 

~~~~

They were cramped, going down the stairs. The intruders, now more heavily numbered, were still screaming, shouting at all the rookies to hurry it up. It made Connor afraid that a stampede would break out, especially in such narrow stairs. 

The boy who took his hand had gone before him, nodding at Connor before beginning to descend. His roommate was behind him, mumbling to himself under his breath. 

Once he had finally made it down the stairs there were more of the same intruders, clad in the white marked on robes and black balaclavas, grabbing rookies and shoving them into elevators. 

“Move it, move it!” One of the shouted, grabbing different people and pushing them in different directions. “You, stay put!” he screamed at someone random. 

One of them grabbed Connor, roughly corralling him into an elevator. The same boy was in there, along with his roommate. He was thankful for people he knew at least. The intruders stuffed the elevator to mass capacity and then pressed the descend button, jeering as the doors closed and it began to move. 

“Does anyone know where we are going?” the boy who had taken Connor's hand asked. “Or what exactly is happening.” 

“It's a hazing ritual.” Connor said back, after a beat of silence. “We're going to a party, I believe.” He remembered hearing Conan describe it to him, the bewilderment and anger of his dorm being crashed, the apprehension of being forced to move. To do things they weren't in control of. 

_They made us crawl like dogs on the pavement before going into the party._

The boy nodded, seeming to take in Connor's appearance. His hair was disheveled from sleep, pajamas short and wrinkled. He didn't look much better though in Connor's opinion, although his short buzzed hair didn't give any chance of dishevelment. 

“What's your name?” he asked after a moment. 

“Connor. Connor Anderson.” 

“I'm Markus. I'm glad we have gotten to meet Connor, although I wish the circumstances were different.” 

“Likewise.” 

The elevator beeped. 

They had arrived. 

~~~~

“You're all fucking dogs, so act like them!” 

They made the rookies climb over the barrier, the concrete ceiling low enough to scrape the tops of their heads as they did so. It was dark out, and a few cars were parked down there. An underground car park, that's where they were. 

Connor didn't want to do it. Didn't want to get down on his hands and knees for the intruders and shamble like a sick stray. When he was a child he used to walk like Sumo, trying to be close to him at all times.

But he wasn't a child anymore, and Sumo wasn't with him. This wasn't for fun, it was for humiliation. Connor didn't like to give in to anyone else's need to see him humiliated. 

But Markus smiled at him, hopped over the barrier and got down with all the others, crawling forward just like he had been told to. Besides, if Connor didn't do it the intruders would be mad. Conan would be furious, no doubt. 

Connor hopped the barrier, and after a moment of hesitation, got down on his hands and knees. Began to shuffle forward with all the other rookies, even as he bit his lip with frustration. 

They had all stopped moving after a few minutes, stuck behind a door where music pulsed out of. The party that Conan had described to him, no doubt. 

Markus was in front of Connor, whispering to the girl next to him. She looked pissed, face down and hands in fists as she waited. Not wanting to play the intruders game, obviously. Connor didn't want to either. 

“Hey, it's just a fucking game,” the boy next to him said. Connor turned to look at who it was. His roommate. “Don't look so blank. I'm Gavin, by the way.” 

“Connor.” 

The doors in front of them burst open suddenly, bright light blinding him and the other rookies. More intruders burst out, waving them up with hands, grabbing and pushing if they were too slow. They were shouting, but Connor couldn't hear what they were saying over the music. 

Their intent was clear though. Everyone was to go inside to the party. 

~~~~

Connor made it inside in one piece, and took in the scene. 

It made him sick. 

There was alcohol everywhere, and everyone was drinking. _Illegally,_ no less, as Connor knew all the rookies were under twenty one. Most of them were probably only eighteen, like him. 

And to make things worse, Connor could see blatant drug use. The couple in front of him were taking some sort of narcotic, LSD most likely. How had his brother gone through this? How was he supposed to be working towards a degree in criminal justice when he hadn't even mentioned all the crime that went on at his hazing ritual? 

Connor knew that Hank wouldn't really care though, about the alcohol and drug use. He would more care about his boys being forced to leave their rooms and be humiliated. 

The building they were in was also unbearably crowded, everyone so close that Connor could barely move with pushing past someone. He had lost track of Markus and Gavin as soon as he was shoved in, being pushed along by the crowd. 

It was loud, crowded and blatant crimes were happening all around Connor. It was hell, more likely. Thankfully, he had always had a gift for keeping a calm stance, even in circumstances like these. 

Some of the intruders had spray guns filled with vodka he found out by listening to the excited shouting, and were trying to shoot it into rookies mouths. After hearing this Connor kept his closed tightly. There was no way he was going to let anything like that get into his system. 

Connor pushed through a couple, looking around in a daze for anyone he knew. As he did so one of the intruders spotted him and sprayed him, soaking his t-shirt, more than it had already been by sweat. 

“SPRAY THE ROOKIES, SPRAY THE ROOKIES!” the chant had taken over the room, almost loud enough to drown out the party. Connor stumbled back, turning around to try and find another way out. 

This was hell. Literal, absolute hell. He tried to push past a group of people but they had started jumping to the beat of the music, violent enough to jostle him in the other direction, back towards the chanters. 

He turned, desperate to find some sort of exit. Anything out of the party. How had Conan talked about this so magically, as if it had been fun? This was anything but fun. 

Connor found himself stumbling into a room with red lights, everyone tinted by them. And there, by the wall - Markus. He had one arm leaned up against it, talking to another man. Connor strode forward, intent on stepping in and talking to him before stopping. 

Markus had grabbed the man and started to kiss him. That was not something Connor thought should be interrupted. He felt...upset looking at it though, although he had no idea why. 

_I wish that was me._

He turned back around, intent on finding either Gavin or an exit. Someone had grabbed the fire extinguisher and turned it on, filling the room with the white smoke-like substance. He turned again, exiting the red room. 

Connor glanced at the stairs, wondering if he could push past enough people to reach the top level and exit. Not an option it looked like, with everyone on them either drinking or dancing - or both. The whole building seemed unbearingly full of people and noise, enough to make him want to go deaf. 

Connor turned again. Spotted him. And began to make his way forward. 

“Conan!” he tried to yell over the noise, but found that his voice was only drowned out. His brother was on a small stage, leaning against a wall and sipping out of a cup. He wasn't smiling but Connor could tell he was enjoying himself by the way he kept nodding his head and tapping his foot to the beat. He had one of the coats on too, that all the other intruders did but no balaclava. 

Connor strode forward, pushing people behind him. “Conan!” he shouted again, now close enough to look directly up at his brother. The boy didn't respond, didn't even seem to hear him. 

He grabbed Conan’s leg, pulling on it and continued to shout his name. Conan looked down, disgust on his face for a second before realizing who Connor was. He threw his cup away - still full of clear liquid that Connor was sure wasn't water. 

Conan put both hands on his shoulders, pushing down as he made his way off of the stage. It felt good to Connor in the moment, to have his brother holding him. Protecting him from the noise and the people and the party. 

“Connor.” he breathed out, before bringing him in, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Connor closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around his brother. He could almost forget that there was even a party around them for a moment. 

Conan pulled back then, bringing their foreheads together. He was smiling slightly, blue eyes slightly watering. 

“I'm so drunk.” he said, pulling away and rocking Connor as if he were a child. 

“Where were you earlier today? Dad was very angry.” Connor asked, letting himself be rocked. After a moment he realized that Conan was swaying them to the beat of the music. 

“I'm so glad you're here,” Conan said, ignoring the question. “You'll love it. Year one is always the best.” His brother wrapped his arms higher up, around his neck. He was very drunk, it seemed. It was a bit disconcerting to see his usually put-together brother so...so different. Actually having fun, and speaking to Connor like he actually liked him for once. 

“And we’ll see each other all the time, like when we were back home.” Connor said, some hope creeping into his chest. It would be so _nice_ if he and Conan could have a good relationship when they were in college together. He nodded, jerking forward to smooth back Connor's hair before going back to rocking him. 

“Hank got to you I see,” Conan said after a beat of analyzing Connor. “Was it hell without me?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You look exactly like he wants you to look Connor. Hair the way he wants, wearing his old t-shirt, and I can tell you haven't drank anything.” Conan leaned out of his arms for a second, looking over his shoulder at the crowd. 

“I look the way I want to look like brother, dad and I just have similar style. And underage drinking is _illegal_.” Connor whispered into his ear, brows scrunched together at his brother. Conan nodded before leaning back into the embrace, gagging over Connor's back. 

“Fuck,” he panted. “I need some fresh air.” He began to drag him away from the stage, one arm around his shoulders. 

“Quicky!” he called, and Connor looked back, smiling when he saw who it was. The German Shepard that Conan had gotten half-way through his second year, a gift from Hank after the puppy had failed its test to be a police dog. Connor remembered crying, begging to be able to keep the dog before Hank had promised to drive him over to Conan’s apartment to see the puppy. 

“Quicky, I missed you so much!” he cried out, bending down to pet the dog. He recognised Connor, panting happily as he was pet. 

Conan pushed him forward then, instead opting to walk behind him. He wrapped his arms around Connor's shoulders, guiding him through the crowd as Quicky followed at their heels. 

“C’mon brother, I got something to show you.” Conan shouted in his ear just as the song began to wind down. Connor nodded, continuing to walk forward. He only half-glanced at the lamb decoration hanging in a noose before being pushed by his brother. 

He didn't know if it was real or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't think of a d:bh name for Quicky so I didn't try lmao


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hazing continues, leaving Connor nauseous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no self control when it comes to writing. I'm gonna be dead on my feet tomorrow during summer school for sure.

It was dark. 

Where ever Conan had led Connor was far enough away from the party that he could barely hear the thump of the base. And there were no more blinding, flashing lights to burn his eyes - instead they were in pitch darkness. Connor had kept a firm grip on his brother the whole time but somehow Conan managed to slip away, leaving him to stumble blindly. 

“Where's the light?” he asked, reaching around on a wall. Conan grabbed him, dragging him away from the wall. 

“Don't do that. We're not allowed in here.” 

Connor wanted to protest, to demand to be brought back to his dorm but he knew better than to argue with his brother. It was easier to just follow along, see the mission to an end and then get on with his day. 

So instead he opted to ask, “Where are we?” he could hear his brothers footsteps, followed by the light pat of Quicky but he couldn't seem to be able to tell exactly where they were. 

No answer. 

“Conan?” 

“Should I follow your footsteps, Conan?” 

No answer again, just more shuffling around. Connor tried to follow the footsteps again, only to graze his leg against something sharp. He hissed quietly, bending down to touch it. His hand came back slick. 

“I hurt my leg Conan, please turn on a light or answer me.” 

A light flashed on then, revealing the room. Connor couldn't help but gasp at what was revealed - dead animals in jars, preserved limbs and other oddities - they were in the medical wing then. As soon as the light had came it went with a click. 

He could hear Conan snicker at his gasp, clicking the flashlight back on again to reveal a taxidermied lamb Connor was about to bump into. He stepped aside quickly, avoiding touching the creature. 

“Where are you?” he asked, only to feel his brother grab him and turn the light on, pointing it at a concrete wall. 

“Look,” he said in a hushed tone, drawing Connor closer to him and the wall. “Look at the wall.” 

Hanging on the wall were photos - class photos it looked like. There were tons of them, spanning the whole entire wall. All groups of college students wearing the white jackets - all spattered in a red substance. Blood, Connor assumed. Some were smiling at the camera but most were either in shock or glaring. A banner hung in the background of all the pictures, proudly declaring the year. 

“Some of the faces are scribbled out,” Connor noted, pointing towards one picture. About five faces in the picture had been erased with a permanent marker it looked like, leaving whoever they were a mystery. Conan came closer, nodding at the picture. 

“Traitors. They refused initiation.” 

“Hazing, you mean?” 

“Call it what you want Connor, but we all go through it.” he said, before leaving Connor to peer back at the picture. 

“Here it is.” Conan said, making him turn and shuffle over to his brother to look at what he found. They were near the end of the wall then, where the pictures looked older. Connor hadn't realized that the initiation process had gone so far back. 

“Who is that?” Conan said, pointing towards a man in the picture. He smiled at Connor, holding the flashlight so that he could see. 

Connor looked closer, trying to take the bloody face in. His eyes widened with recognition once it hit him. 

“That's dad, isn't it? I wouldn't have thought he would go through something like that.” Connor peered closer to take in Hank’s features more. He didn't look angry or grumpy which surprised him. He was one of the few who smiled in the photos, blood on his face, in his hair and staining his clothes.

“It's tradition. You'll do it too, soon.” Conan said, smiling at Connor. It made him feel good to have his brother smiling at him for once. The years before he had left for college had been marked with fights and crying on his end.

“Really?” he asked, looking back at the young bloodied Hank. 

“Yes, and you will _not back out_. Look Connor, look at how happy Hank was.” Conan said the words firmly, staring right at him. 

“He does look happy. I'm not going to back out Conan, I understand that everyone does it. I'm just not happy to do it.” Connor explained himself, leaning back from the picture. 

“Good,” he said, turning the flashlight away. “I’m going back to the party. Will you watch Quicky?” 

“I'll take him back to my dorm and we can sleep. I’m so tired brother.” he said, bending down to pet Quicky. 

“No you will not!” Conan barked, pulling him back up. 

“Why not?” 

“Rookies don't sleep before us. You just stay in here with Quicky, when I'm ready for bed I'll come get you and him.” 

Conan left him before he could protest, engulfing the room in darkness again. Connor sighed but didn't call after him, instead sliding down the wall and whistling for the dog. 

He tilted his head and breathed in and out, pushing his hands through the dogs fur. 

It was going to be hard to not fall asleep. 

~~~~

It turned out, Conan hadn't felt very sleepy when he left. It was three hours of forcing himself to stay awake for Connor, occasionally hitting his head off the concrete wall when he dozed off. 

Eventually his brother did come back, clicking the light on and off in front of Connor to make sure he wasn't asleep. He hadn't said much, just telling him to get to bed and leave his dog alone. 

Conan wasn't in a good mood anymore obviously. Connor didn't push it, just stood up and said goodnight before taking the short directions that he had been given to get back to his dorm. 

When he got back all the doors were still flung open, clothing and other materials scattering the hallways. Connor looked outside one of the windows and saw the pile of mattresses on the grass below. 

Why didn't the college staff do anything about the hazing? Jericho wasn't cheap, and it wasn't very big. With such blatant hazing it should be very easy for them to shut it down. 

Of course, the staff had probably gone through the same exact thing if the pictures on the wall had anything to say. Even Hank had gone through it, and had not mentioned it to Connor. 

He stumbled back into his dorm after a moment of surveying the area. The floor was trashed, every drawer out of its place and all the furniture knocked over. Gavin’s bed was littered with trash. 

Connor stepped past it and into his own room, closing the door quietly behind him. His room was considerably cleaner, probably since he hadn't had much to trash in the first place. The biggest blow was the missing mattress. 

He flopped onto the box spring, rolling over and curling into himself since his blanket was gone. Most likely it had been thrown out the window as well. 

When he was younger, around six or seven, Connor had gone through a faze where he slept in Hank’s room. For awhile Hank hadn't even known, because he would wait til the man was asleep before crawling on and curling up, far enough away so that if he rolled over he wouldn't feel Connor. 

It had stopped when Hank had woken up in the middle of the night to find Connor there, lying on top of the covers facing away from him. After that Hank had taken to tucking him into his bed straight away, wrapping a protective arm around him until he could peacefully sleep. 

Conan had never needed to sleep with Hank to be able to sleep. 

He heard footsteps suddenly, two sets of them shuffling into his dorm. Connor curled over more, hoping that it wasn't the intruders again. 

“Be quiet, my roommate is sleeping.” 

_Oh._

It was Gavin, who had brought someone with him. That was fine with Connor, as long as they kept quiet and didn't open his door. 

He drifted off as the conversation behind his door lulled. 

~~~~

He was wearing one of the white jackets, although it was unmarked. All of the rookies were wearing the plain white cotton - another tradition, Connor supposed. 

He hadn't seen Conan since being ordered to bed. His brother was probably either asleep or in class, nursing a hangover. 

That's where Connor was, at least - in class. He watched from his seat as the professor explained the course to the sea of white jacketed rookies how the beginning class would be. 

He looked around. Spotted a couple of familiar faces in the crowd. Gavin had sat close to him, head tipped back and eyes closed before opening and nodding towards him. He nodded back as Gavin looked away, closing his eyes again. 

A few rows away Connor could see Markus and the angry girl from the night before, although now she looked less angry. They were flanked by two more students, both men. They had been the group he had been shoved into after being ejected from his dorm. 

Something in his stomach felt warm when he didn't see the man Markus had been kissing near them. 

~~~~

They had all been corralled outside after their first morning class, shouted at by the older students with marked up jackets. They shoved them outside, forcing them a few feet in front of one of the buildings. 

Connor knew what was going to happen. They were in the same exact place that all the pictures of bloodied college students had been taken. If he guessed correctly, they would be dumping it into them from the building above them. 

He glanced around, looking at all the other rookies. Gavin was directly beside him, rubbing his eyes. Markus was a bit away, one row in front and a couple people over. He turned around as if he could feel Connor staring at him, smiling once he saw who it was.   
Connor tried to smile back, even as his nerves were on fire. 

After a few moments of silence he saw the marked robes begin to march towards them, the one in front methodically banging a drum. They didn't speak or even look at the rookies, instead marching until they were right in front of them. The conversation had died out in the rookies at the sight of the marked robes. 

Conan was almost directly in front of Connor, and yet he didn't look at him. Didn't look at anyone, in fact. He looked blank. All the marked robes did, until the leader banged his drum in rapid succession. Then they looked slightly crazed, big smiles with teeth showing and widened eyes. 

Something dripped into Connor's coat. 

He looked at it, unsurprised to find a spot of red. He turned back, looking up and seeing the sea of red that was careening towards them. 

He turned again, locking eyes with Conan, who nodded towards him. Connor closed his eyes, bending slightly. 

The blood hit him. 

It sent him forward a bit from the sheer force as it coated his hair and face, splattering his coat and shoes - reaching everything all at once on him. He looked next to him After the wave hit, at Gavin. He was bloodied from head to toe, even looking as if he had gotten some in his mouth. 

“Conscripts!” 

Connor turned with all the rest of the rookies to look up on the roof. Several of the masked robes were standing on the edge, holding several then empty buckets that had contained the blood. 

“You have made it to our great school!” One of them shouted, a man with blond hair. “And for that, we applaud you.” 

“Your professors will make you great,” he began, leaning forward. “And your elders will make you family.” 

Despite himself Connor smiled at the words. They were cheesy, and tough to swallow after what the marked robes had forced him and the rest of the rookies to do. But now, they were supposed to be his family? 

“But first, you must learn!” he shouted. “You must learn to work as a team, to obey, and to be good rookies!” 

Connor could feel the blood beginning to dry on his face, could feel it on his lips. He wondered what it tasted like but kept his mouth firmly shut. It would only upset himself and Hank if he did taste it. 

“First off, from now on you call your elders either elders, or great ones!” He gestured around to the other marked robes around him and in front of the rookies. 

“Repeat after me, elders!” 

“Elders!” Most of the rookies responded but some didn't, instead opting to keep their mouths shut. Connor didn't yell the word out, and he noticed that neither did Gavin. 

“Hey! _Repeat after me,_ Elders!” the man shouted a bit louder. 

“ELDERS!” Connor said it with the crowd that time, allowing his voice to be swept away. He didn't want to sit there with the blood in his hair and on his face for longer than he needed to. 

“Good! And great ones!” 

“GREAT ONES!” 

“What a nice bunch this year,” he smiled down at the rookies. “Where was I?” 

“They will help you during rush week, which will end when you hear this!” the man gestured towards the elder next to him, who pressed on the air horn in his hands three times in a row. 

“Then and only then are you no longer rookies. In the meantime, we're counting on you! Make us proud, and we'll show you the way.” 

He raised his fist, signaling for all the other elders to do so. 

“FOR JERICHO!” 

~~~~

The man walking past Connor bent over and vomited. 

He shrank back and into Markus, his hand finding the others. Markus put a hand on his shoulder, turning him back from the sick man. 

They had been lined up after their class picture, all waiting to be handed something from some elders at a table they had set up. The rest of the elders milled about behind the table, jeering at each new rookie who was in the front of the line. 

Connor wiped his face with his sleeve, grimacing when it came away bloody. Markus smiled at him, reaching up to rub some more of the blood away. 

“My brother said this happens every year,” he explained. Connor nodded, even though he already knew that. “Although he didn't warn me about anything else.” 

“Is he an elder?” Connor asked as the line moved forward. Markus nodded, pointing towards a figure near the table. 

“I'm surprised he even warned me about the blood though,” Markus said. “He resents me.” 

“Why?” 

“To make a long story short, I'm adopted. He isn't. He thinks our father favors me.” he shrugged at the words, even though Connor could tell it bothered him. 

“Does your father favor you?” he asked. Markus grinned at him and nodded, stepping forward again in the line. 

“I'm adopted too. Both me and my brother,” Connor said suddenly, feeling the need to share a connection to Markus. “Although he still resents me somewhat.” 

“Does your father favor you?” Markus spun the question back round, tilting to look more at Connor's face. He wiped away more of the blood in response while thinking. 

“Maybe. I think he just treats us differently, as per our personalities. I need a closer relationship with him, he doesn't.” 

They had gotten up to the front of the line then, standing next to each other in front of the table. There were shot glasses lining it and big glass jars filled with _something._ Something that an elder was reaching into and handing each rookie to swallow. 

“What is that?” Connor asked the elder at the table. He was the same one who had yelled at them on the roof. After no response he tried again. “Is it meat?” 

“Rabbit kidney, better you didn't know.” the man said, not even looking up at him. He was putting checkmarks next to names on a sheet of paper - keeping track of which rookies ate and which didn't. 

_Keeping a list of who to scratch out and who to keep._

“I'm vegetarian, I can't eat that.” Connor said. He didn't care suddenly if his face would be scribbled out or not. The man looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “Ask my brother, we're both vegetarian.” 

“Who's your brother?” 

“Conan.” 

The man looked him over, nodding once he did so. Connor was grateful that they looked so much alike. 

“No shit,” the elder mumbled, before turning around in his chair at the rest of the group behind him. “Conan! Come here a second.” 

His brother strode over, eyes narrowed as he looked at the elder and then at Connor. 

“You vegetarian?” the elder asked. 

“No, why?” Connor bit his lip at the answer, eyebrows drawn at his brother. There was no way he wasn't vegetarian - it had been something instilled within them ever since they had been adopted by Hank as toddlers. Even though the man himself had occasionally eaten meat he had never once fed it to them, instead making sure they never even touched it. 

Connor had never really found a solid reason why, but he trusted Hank. If he said be vegetarian, he was vegetarian. 

“He's your brother though, obviously right?” 

“You can call Hank if you don't trust me.” Connor directed the words towards the sitting elder but stared back at Conan. 

“Are you serious?” he said, striding closer. “It's nothing. Everyone does it.” 

“So eat his then.” Markus said, hanging back from the interaction. Conan glared at him for a moment before staring back at Connor. 

“I ate mine two years ago. That's why my jacket is marked and my face is present. Go on, eat it.” 

Connor frowned again at Conan, shaking his head no when he continued to stare. His brother sighed then and reached a hand into the jar, grabbing one of the rabbit kidneys before holding it out in front of him. 

“Watch me then.” And with that Conan put it in his mouth, swallowing it whole without an expression change. He grabbed a shot glass and downed it, placing it back down on the table. 

“See, easy.” he said, watching Connor. He didn't move, not reaching to grab his own or to walk away. Just continued to stare at his brother. 

Conan groaned then, grabbing another kidney before coming closer, right up against his brother. Connor backed away instinctively only to be held in place by him. 

“Open up,” he said, voice gentler than before. “You'll be happy you did it. Remember how happy Hank looked.” 

Connor looked away, mouth still firmly shut. Hank would not be happy if he ate it, that was for certain. 

After a beat of silence Conan snarled and grabbed his bloodied coat, forcing him to face him. He held the rabbit kidney up, making sure Connor was looking at it. 

“Don't start the year by chickening out,” he whispered. “I'm watching.” 

His hands crept up, one holding Connor's jaw, the other advancing with the rabbit kidney. Connor thought briefly of fighting Conan off and running away, but rejected the idea. 

It was only a rabbit kidney. He didn't even have to tell Hank that he ate it, and then he could go back to be vegetarian. It wasn't like he was _really_ eating meat if he was pressured to do so. 

He opened his mouth. Let Conan put it in. Let Conan press his jaw up and pull it down, forcing him to chew. 

It tasted horrible. 

His brother nodded, eyes softened when Connor began to chew it on his own. He patted his back quickly before turning to leave. Markus grabbed a shot glass and held it out for Connor to take. 

He shook his head. He had broken enough of Hank’s rules for one day - even if he was sure his dad would never even imagine Connor drinking at eighteen, let alone twenty one - and besides, he really had to focus on trying to force the meat down his throat. 

Markus nodded and took the shot himself, walking close to him as they headed back towards the building. 

Connor stopped once he swallowed part of it, bent over as his throat threatened to close and his stomach threatened to rebel. He could taste salvia building in his mouth, trying to force the foreign substance out. 

He clasped one hand over his mouth. Markus grabbed him, one hand on his back and the other on his shoulder. 

“You'll be okay, let's keep walking.” he muttered, his hand going up to smooth over Connor's bloody hair. 

He nodded. Stood back up and breathed in and out. 

Continued to walk towards the building with Markus, rabbit meat in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any of y'all ever eaten a fucking rabbit kidney


End file.
